It's Only Tuesday

If you think not having much luck with ladies makes me a badguy, you're wrong. It just makes me naïve. I was in love once. She loved me. I know what it's like. I never need to feel that way again. I tried dating after her just because I was lonely, had no friends, no support, no one to help me with the project. It wasn't for selfish reasons. I sought companionship. I've never been selfish. I was a clumsy, naïve rabbit. Not a shrewd fox. Everyone thought I was shrewd because I spoke like Eminem. But they were wrong. I was just a parrot. The car drives past, looks up at the sun and laughs. Maybe they laugh at me because I'm alone, no love. Or because I was so foolish and naïve in the past. Maybe they forgive me when they look up and think about the Sunray Project, which I was working on back then, and is what was on my mind the whole time. So maybe God will give me good news as I've been good, and her bad news as she's not helping me. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. He told me to ask her out. As she's autistic I thought maybe it's because he wants her to help me with the project. Many signs after confirmed that thought. But she has so many boyfriends, it's like she sees no use for me, as it seems that's all she cares about. Like I'm just a tool and not a person picked for her by heaven. She don't seem to care about the project or following God with me or being my companion. She wants to be an atheist and frolick. God knows what she's like. He is lenient and patient. I don't think she believes in signs. I know I'm not perfect. I wouldn't pick me for her. But I trust God's guidance more than my own opinion. The signs he sent told me to ask her out, then said she's cursed for rejecting me and making love with someone else. Yesterday on Judgement Day there were two more curses. One saying she won't get God's blessing for staying with her boyfriend. Another saying she will get bad news for not chatting to me by the close of Judgement Day. If I'm just deluded, nothing will happen. But if the signs are real then it will be as the signs have said. I truly believe in God and the signs. She don't yet believe. Maybe the events of this new year will make her change her mind, turn Jewish, and accept my proposal by next Judgement Day