Spoofed It

I'm a compulsive impersonator

I instinctively copy everything and everyone I see without thinking

I copy facial expression, tone of voice, posture, gesture, accent and action

I'm a natural actor

I copy scenes I've seen in films, or make up scenes myself. Yet often folks don't know it's an act, coz I do it at unexpected times, due to auti cue-blindness

I couldn't count the times I've pretended to drown, fall off a cliff, have a heart attack or get shot

Does that mean I really want to die in any of those ways?

Of course not! That's ridiculous

Likewise I've pretended to be mad and wish folks dead, yet don't have a malicious bone in my body

I like to pretend to fight as well, like a wrestler. It's not real. But folks have winded me for it, broke my nose and knocked my teeth out

I've also pretended to cry, place bets or be foreign, all of which folks have thought to be real

One guy made me cough up ten quid by borrowing my stuff, then holding it hostage. I stopped shaking on stuff after that

If you see an actor on a telly screen crying or dying, you think it's real for a moment. It makes you cry. But all the while, you know it's not really real, they're just passionately acting

That's all I do. Passionately act

I've often mistaken real life for a theatre, the street for a stage, so gave folks the wrong impressions. They thought my skits were real, coz I did them in everyday situations

I try to distinguish, nowadays, between real life and the stage

Though I sometimes still forget where I am, I usually notice I'm acting up, and hush myself, before someone else does. I never used to. I used to just babble on oblivious till I got a smack

I've said a lot of bad-sounding stuff, but that don't make me a bad guy at heart. I don't want to do anything bad, and never have. I'm a kind, caring soul who just loves to wow, shock, amuse and entertain, like any actor giving their all to a performance